Are We Scary?

This morning an appraiser for the people who are buying our house came a-calling. Usually appraisers stay for about 15 minutes, ask a few questions, take a few notes and leave. This woman seemed friendly enough when she first entered our home, and exceedingly nervous as she departed. She even shot me a final glance that I read as, "I don't know what goes on in here, and I've seen a lot of bizarre homes, but this one takes the cake, sister- Oh my god just please don't stab me on my way out."

So I proceeded to take a look around our house for any telltale signs of "craaaaaaaazy". And you know, one person's treasure is another person's cue to run away really fast.

Here is a visual tour of the state of affairs in our home currently, including things I think may have frightened our cream puff little appraiser.

We'll start on the main level, the one she toured first:

This would scare off anyone. Christian loves it more than he loves me, and it's always magically sitting out, gloating at me. 1 point for Cream Puff.


Here's a baby head sculpture that C made. Usually, it graces the back of our terlet, but I brought it out to get some fresh air I mean to pack it up. On it's own it may not be that scary, but I think coupled with what she saw in the basement may have given her some cause to panic.


More baby heads!!! Against a wall that seems to be oozing the elixir of death.

Oh my god don't turn to your right, Cream Puff! More cement creatures....


As I'm sure she moved quickly to the next area of the basement, she was met by these dandy little beings:
...which wouldn't be all that creepy, save for the fact that they talk. I'm sure they talked to her, cause I have conversations with them simply all the time.


Oh look! More of Christian's artwork:

Nothing off about these items.

Here's something that's haunted me for the 2 years that we've lived here. It's in a plastic storage box on the top of some shelves that lead back to the tiny coal room that was put in when the house was built in 1920. It stares at me every time I go down there.


Enough of the basement, already. Let's check out what may be lurking in the kids' rooms, those little pits of evil:


These dolls are enough to scare the pants off of anyone, but even after all of these nefarious items, I just couldn't understand the level of fear in this woman's eyes.


Until I remembered this:





Oh, Cream Puff. It takes a strong sort of woman to bounce back from that terror.